Nargiza: The Salvation Of An Uzbekistan Woman

One of the most powerful and inspiring stories to emerge from my friend: United Nations award winning journalist Kamola Atazhanova's groundbreaking Women's Blog of Uzbekistan -- http://uzbek-woman.livejournal.com/ -- was an interview she did with a woman named Nargiza, which I translated into English from its original Russian:

Her name is Nargiza. Despite the fact that fate has presented her with a lot of surprises, this fragile girl has managed to maintain her optimism and faith in people. She sits across from me and begins her story, which I will now retell.

She was born in Samarkand, Uzbekistan in an ordinary working family. In addition to Nargiza, there were seven other children in the family, so she suffered greatly from a lack of parental affection.  "My father worked from morning to night, and my mother was selling bread at the market." Nargiza as the eldest had to look after her younger brothers and sisters, that's why her education was delayed, and she entered school a year later.

In Uzbek society, especially in the remote areas, there is a belief that a girl doesn't necessarily need an education. The main thing that she has to know is how to do housework. If a mother will teach her daughter that skill, "after her marriage she will be hard," the parents of Nargiza thought. So after the first grade, she had to quit school. Her mother gave birth to another child, and Nargiza was forced to take care of him by herself. A year later, Nargiza wanted to go to school again, but this time there was a collapse of the USSR and it became very hard for her parents to feed their large family.

It was agreed that Nargiza would help her mother sell non (the natonal bread of Uzbekistan) and cakes at the market. So she did not go to school. For 11 years she only knew the alphabet, had a limited writing ability, and she did not know how to count. Nargiza did not like to spend her entire days at thedaily market and sell the family's baked goods, but the family was poor, and she did not leave until she sold the last piece.

One day in late winter, Nargiza lingered at the market. It was cold, there were few buyers. Many cakes remained. Nargiza was afraid that her mother would be upset because she didn't sell enough of the goods. Worn down and fatigued from the cold, since it was getting dark, she decided to go home. Nargiza went home on foot, because she earned on;ly a small sum of money and could not afford to take the minibus home.

"And I'm on an empty street," said Nargiza, who then went silent. I look forward to her continuing. But Nargiza begins to cry. I'm confused, and don't even know what to say. Not a minute goes by, and Nargiza comforts herself, wiping away her tears and continues with her story.

Nargiza walked along the empty street when a car stopped beside her ... lowered the window and the twenty-year-old guy in the car said to her that he could take her home. The little girl, 12-years-old and suspecting nothing, benumbed, agreed. In the car sat another guy. The car drove a few miles and then stopped. The guys got out and one of them moved into the back seat. And then Nargiza was scared. The guy put his hands on her mouth and began to rape her.

Nargiza only remembers the excruciating pain, she tried to scream, break free from the hands of the guy, but lost consciousness. 

Nargiza woke up from when she was pushed by the second guy. He took her by the arm and literally threw her out of the car. Nargiza's feet were bleeding. 

Frightened, exhausted, she did not know how to get home. But, fortunately, the way to her house was short. When she arrived home, her mother asked why her pants were covered with blood. Nargiza was afraid to tell what had happened, she said she slipped and fell on the road.

After that incident, Nargiza was afraid to leave her home. The next day, when she had to go to the market, she told her mother that she had a temperature and she couldn't get out of bed. But she "was ill" for just a few days before her mother forced her to return to the market.

It was the beginning of Nargiza's fear. At night she had nightmares. And worst of all, there was no one to share her storyiwth and ease her burden.

"I mean,"  Nargiza sadly sighs, looking at me. "I thought I was completely alone in my grief. When I learned how to use the Internet, I read dozens of such stories. I am very sorry that this happened to me. But on the other hand, it's for the best. " I make innocent eyes. Nargiza continues her monologue.

A few years passed and Nargiza was 16.  Her parents decided it was time to marry her off. Nargiza never objected, and at the time took the news as a tribute. In their town it is perfectly normal to send one's daughters off to marry at the age of 16-17 years. If an umarried girl reaches 18, she  is considered "zasidevsheysya" and people begin to view her as abnormal.

Nargiza did not know what a "wedding night" was. In her family, it was not acceptable to speak about such topics. Before the wedding her aunt tried to explain, but Nargiza remembered that terrible event and began to sob. Her aunt thought she was frightened. In fact, Nargiza was afraid that her future husband would do the same thing to her.

Nargiza was in great pain at the time her marriage was consummated, she closed her eyes and began to cry. But her husband continued to with the intercourse. Nargiza woke up from a slap to her face. The husband shouted something and ran into the street. A few minutes later he went into the room of a relative. They called her a lascivious woman, and said some hurtful words. Nargiza but does not remember everything.

Once it became clear that she was not a virgin, a scandal unfolded, and she was sent back home. When she came returned home, her dad beat her and her mom said that she had disgraced the family. 

Her father said that he no longer wanted to see her in his home, and that he told her, she was no longer his daughter. This meant that Nargiza was kicked out of the house. Humiliated, quite disappointed in life, Nargiza drank vinegar (trying to commit suicide). 

Nargiza drank a little vinegar, and felt the heat. She went to the local hospital. From her family, only her younger brother visited her, her parents had abandoned her. 

Nargiza was in despair. She was very sorry that she drank vinegar and tried to end her own life. The doctors told her that now she could not eat normally, and the probability of having a child was almost negligible.

Nargiza did not spend a lot time thinking about it. She had to decide what to do next with her life, how to live, where to go, things to do, because she was no longer wanted by her family, and all of the mahalla (neighborhood group) had already heard about her "shame" and for sure, just lazy about the buzz (the gossip about her spread quickly). 

The Mahalla in Uzbek society is very important. Despite the fact that the spirit of unity has always been inherent to the Uzbek people, the Mahalla at times engages in a negative and suffocating role. One must live by their rules, otherwise they won't let one live in serenity. And in the case of Nargiza, her parents realized that the Mahalla now would not allow them to live peacefully, and they were forced to drive their daughter away to get rid of the shame.

Nargiza made a very important decision. She told her younger brother that she was going to Tashkent. Money she didn't have, and her only hope for ticket faire was her younger brother, who was moonlighting as an "aravakashem" (the person who pushes the trolley on the market). As Nargiza told me,  her brother gave her nearly all of his savings, but that was not enough. The decision was made however and there was no way back. 

Nargiza got on the bus to Tashkent and mentally said goodbye to the city that brought her so much suffering.
When the bus reached the "Hippodrome", Nargiza got off the bus and realized that she had absolutely nowhere to go. It was a sunny morning, people with shopping carts and big bags scurried back and forth. Nargiza felt quite lonely.

First of all, Nargiza decided to find a job. Because her reading and writing skills were so poor, she could not hope to find something decent. She had heard once from someone in the mahalla, that in Tashkent there is a "mardikor bazaar," where so many people go in search of menial work.

She asked the local people about the place, and inquired for the shuttle bus that went there. Nargiza did not expect to see this, but dozens of women rushed to each of those who drove cars, and offered their services and fought with each other, with some of them choosimg their future employers. Nargiza noticed that these women were mainly from the regions. Among them were mature women, and even those  as young as she.

Nargiza was still a minor, but due to her high growth and mature form, she appeared to be not less than twenty years old. On top of that,  Nargiza exhibited an extraordinary beauty. When she approached the women at the mardikor bazaar, they could not believe that this young girl could do heavy work. 

Meanwhile, Nargiza  could not believe that a couple of days ago she was at home, and  now she was in a strange city, next to strangers.

At this point, she was approached by a young woman, who was wearing a dirty coat and galoshes.

When this woman approached her, Nargiza, was a little scared. The woman looked heavy and unfriendly. 

"You the new girl?" Asked the woman in Uzbek. Nargiza told her that he had just arrived from Samarkand, and did not  have work and housing. The woman told Nargiza her name was Matlubov and said that she came with her friend from Urgench a couple of weeks ago. They were looking for a third lodger, because they did not have enough money to pay the rent. Nargiza immediately agreed. So Matlubov became the first person Nargiza knew in Tashkent. Then Matlubov introduced her to her friend Farangiz. Matlubov told Nargiza that basically, they do not work hard, and the work would involve doing repairs at people's homes.

From the first day with her friends at the country houses, she felt uncomfortable. They had to do cleaning, take out the trash after repairs, wash windows, etc. But Nargiza from childhood was accustomed to physical labor, so she quickly mastered the chores. She earned a little, but was missing cheap accommodation and food.

Additionally, when she was among these women, who came from all the different regions of Uzbekistan, Nargiza saw her life reflected in these women. When she began to quietly communicate with them, she realized that they were all unhappy. One woman told her about how she had to run away from her husband, an alcoholic; another was driven from home by her husband because she did not give birth within two years after the wedding. Each of them had their goods (things to bear), their own pain in their heart.

The last straw was a story that Nargiza reluctantly recalled. They were brought in to paint the walls in some abandoned house not far from Tashkent. They negotiated with a man about 40, who promised to pay good money. When they finished, he said he forgot the money in the car and left. But instead of bringing them money, he locked and closed the house and drove away. There were four of them stuck there alone! Four women very far from the city, without food and without money. It was early spring, the night was unbearably cold, and the poor women had to sleep on cardboard spread out on bare concrete. Nargiza experienced more humiliation than ever.

After that, Nargiza was very ill and decided for herself, by all means, to learn to read and write, and be free from this type of working environment forever. She asked her neighbor, a teacher to school her at least every other day. Because of her dedication and desire, Nargiza quickly learned to read and write. She decided to find a job in any reputable company. She replied to the ads for weeks, but she was refused because she lacked a resident registration for Tashkent. But once she was lucky. She called for an interview at a newly opened company selling office supplies. She did not get the position of Secretary, which she wanted, but instead became the shop assistant because of her good looks.

She knew little about the Russian language, but was helped by her manager Sergei, who from the first day was very kind to her. They became friends and often had lunch together. Sergei once asked her about her hometown, and asked her to tell him about her family. But Nargiza broke down and cried. She told him about her past life, and Sergei was just shocked. Three years later, Nargiza marry him. And finally found my happiness.

Now Nargiza is completely fluent in Russian, she has learned to work with a computer and use an Internet connection. 
Nargiza recently gave birth to a son, and so is on maternity leave...

Image Credit: https://www.pinterest.com/pin/388154061609544668/