Christmas Time Attack Of The Giant Box Of Presents

Setting the scene: Christmas Time! Fa la la, la la la... You always hoped it snowed...  cold northern winds... eggnog... the smell of cinnamon and clove and mom's gingerbread baking in the oven... hot apple cider... a sample of penuche, chocolate and coconut fudge in ornate dishes to nibble on.. candy canes in glass jars in the living room... a big bouquet of a Christmas wreath on the front door... a real Christmas tree decorated fully with ornaments and tinsel... roly poly Santa in his sleigh with his favorite reindeer coming down the warm chimney to drop off some mighty fine presents... and a plethora, a multitude of sweet gifts under the tree including

And speaking of the Giant Box of Presents, it was my father who came up with the tradition of the, dahhhh, dah-dah: Giant Box Of Presents! Where he got the idea from, I'm not quite sure, perhaps from one of his friends, a co-worker at Lakeville State Hospital or one of his French relatives. Whatever the source, it was a novelty that quickly caught on and became one of our Holiday time favorites.

A giant cardboard box, delicately and daintily wrapped by my father, who was a wiz at making Christmas boxes look divine, heavenly sent, oh it should have at least two large bows on top with a lot of ribbons, the larger, the more wonderful. If the box could be three-quarters the size of a washing machine crate, even more special.

The unwrapping of the massive container would take place in front of the TV, which would be playing traditional holiday faire like a Bob Hope Christmas Special or the beloved A Charlie Brown Christmas and in later years, the much treasured: A Christmas Story.

And the lucky recipient would open the huge box filled with the great glee of anticipation only to be confounded by a pile of crumpled up newspaper inside... and you could stuff a lot of newspaper into a big ass cardboard box, that's for sure.

And of course, the smaller the size of the gifts inside, even the better, because each present was taped up to excessive depth in a scotch-tape fury of bomb-proof newsprint wrapping.

And a present might be something like red and green Christmas-themed pencils or some knicknacks or bric-a-brac, a bauble, a curio.

There was a general rule that all presents in the box, except one or two, should be inexpensive, even gag gifts -- there were no snakes flying out of a can, though that might have had added a deft touch to the proceedings -- but this rule could change year by year. The one or two nice gifts in the box would of course be placed at the bottom of the container. The giftee would have to work hard before securing some nice presents.

And an unwritten rule was that one of the gifts should be some inexpensive cologne or fragrance... and of course the person would test it out and the room would be filled with the strong scent of cheap perfume.

And the person wanting to be a good sport would intone upon unwrapping an amusing gift: "Just what I always wanted!" and we would all laugh.

And more much good-natured laughter as the person struggled to open their goodies.

And finally after twenty or thirty minutes, the box would be empty and there would be a pile of discarded newspaper wrappings which would nearly reach the ceiling or challenge Mount Everest in height.

And we kids would then help stuff everything back in to the box.

Except the gifts of course...

Image Credit: https://www.pinterest.com/pin/48273027231932573/?lp=true